This story happened to my best friend, the sweetest, most thoughtful person in the world, so it made me doubly mad. Let’s call my friend “Ava” for anonymity’s sake.
Unfortunately, after spending the majority of 2018 trying to get pregnant and enduring several miscarriages, Ava trusted her instincts and made an appointment with a fertility specialist. She tried Femara, only to end up with the same result. The next logical step was IVF. Coming to terms with the next step of her fertility journey wasn’t easy, but she would be the best mom in the world so she decided to do it.
All went well with the retrieval (thank goodness) and she got several healthy embryos!
A few weeks post-retrieval, Ava was in Kentucky for a family function and a family friend approached her. Usually, Ava really enjoys talking to this woman. After a few exchanges, the woman asked Ava if she is pregnant. HOW RUDE! Immediately, Ava said no and excused herself. She wondered, “Why would she think I’m pregnant? Do I look fat?” The stupid things people say!
Obviously, Ava was extremely upset. She told her mom what happened and her mom apparently said she mentioned to the friend that Ava was trying to have a baby, which took longer than expected.
Later that afternoon, the woman engaged Ava AGAIN. This time she said that she’s sorry it’s taken a while for them to have a baby but the good news is they “get to have that much more fun trying.” And, proceeded to show Ava pictures of her new grandbaby.
First, anyone who has struggled with fertility has felt that “trying” to conceive becomes a job or a “chore” after a while. The fun diminishes and turns into work. Second, don’t randomly show someone pictures of a baby to someone who has been trying to conceive their own, unless they ask.
Sadly, there are thousands of stories just like this every single day. Please, please, please remember to be considerate of other people’s feelings and try to be a little more self-aware of what you say to others.